I spend an unreasonable amount of time contemplating what I would do differently with the next kiddo. There are many things I’ve learned so far in my first 5 months of being a mom. In some ways I am anxious to try again sooner than later in order to “get it right”, but I know it’s impossible to be perfect. And the next kid will be totally different. So, alas, it’s always a guessing game. But, still, here are the things I think I would change:
1. Visitors in the hospital: I think I would take a nap and shower before letting people come over. We had a few hours to ourselves, but then after being up for 14 hours overnight, we let people come over first thing in the morning. Aanndd, I looked horrible in my pictures. Didn’t care about that at the time, but now I do when I walk into my family’s houses and see those pictures framed…. forever!
2. Split up the visitors over a few weeks. Maybe have one family in town for a week or two and then the other family can come. It was overwhelming juggling the visitors and trying to breastfeed and sleep. This time we will have another kiddo that we can give them to hang out with for the day and occupy them.
3. Put visitors to work. Stop trying to be polite and take them up on their offers to do things like clean and mow the lawn. Everyone was great about making us food, and then they “offered” to clean or do yard work. It would have been easier if they just showed up and were ready to work. This time, I am going to use them to my advantage so that I can spend time with my baby instead of worrying about the housework and entertaining everyone.
4. PUT THE BABY DOWN WHEN HE IS AWAKE from day one! With Ben we had to hold him for a but otherwise he would spit everything up. Now, he can’t fall asleep by himself. We got into the habit of rocking him to sleep, which really doesn’t bother me, in fact I really look forward to our quiet time together. But, now when he is awake after his feedings in the middle of the night, we have to deal with some crying. See my post on sleep training coming up. I wish someone had given me this advice a long time ago. I think I wasn’t interested in getting rid of the rocking because when I couldn’t breastfeed, the rocking to sleep was our quiet time together to bond.
5. Read some sleep training books before the baby comes. I will probably have done this by the time the next baby comes. I would have liked to PREVENT sleep problems instead of treat them later, which is incredibly difficult.
6. No nipple shield. I think this might have made our problems worse. I am not an LC, so what do I know. But when I bring out the nipple shield now, he just starts crying. He hates that thing.
7. Be more aggressive about breastfeeding and trust my instinct. There were several times where I didn’t trust the pre/post weight after a breastfeeding at a lactation visit, and I should have been more aggressive about it in the beginning. I knew in my heart that he wasn’t getting enough or not latching well, but everyone was telling me otherwise. Turns out, I was right.
8. Go to the pediatrician at day 4 or 5 instead of day 3. Day 3 was too early and if I had gone a day or two later we could have caught his weight gain problem sooner instead of at 2 weeks. Then, I would schedule our second visit four or five days later in order to keep a close watch on weight gain.
9. Worry less about the housework or enlist some help with housework in the beginning. I had such a hard time letting go of that normal feeling and getting things done that I didn’t get to enjoy my baby as much as I would have if I could just let it go. With two, that will be much more difficult, so I might as well just give up a little responsibility!
I think that’s all I can think of at this point. I think there will always be more things I want to do differently. Maybe that’s why people have lots of kids… more chances to get it right?
