I’m going to be honest here: I kind of hate my post baby body. I went from having this adorable, cute little baby bump and having an amazing wardrobe that fit me perfectly, showing off my new curves in all the right places, to having extra skin and the final 10lbs that just won’t go away. I don’t think that breastfeeding has helped me lose any weight. I have been the same weight since Ben was 2 weeks old! There’s a leftover ring of adipose tissue around my middle and the tops of my thighs that just won’t melt away.
I know what you are thinking: You need to appreciate your body for what it has done and brought a child into this world and continued to nourish it. Yeah, I know. But, I do not feel comfortable in any of my clothes. I end up wearing athletic pants and my preggo jeans all the time because otherwise there would be a serious muffin top! I don’t want to buy new clothes, because at some point, I want to get back to where I was before. I have no self confidence right now, even though people like to tell me, “You look great!”. What are they going to say, “Wow, you still look pregnant?”.
I know it takes time, he’s only 3.5 months old. Or is that an excuse? He has been sleeping more in the past few weeks so I have had more energy to do a little workout at home. Two fifteen minute workout sessions is a good day! I’m doing things like core workout with the exercise ball, kettlebell, and a few other total body workouts from various magazines. I went to the gym one day and did the eliptical for 30 minutes. I can’t say that I see any results yet! I have been blessed in the past with no weight issues and never really had to workout to lose weight or “get in shape”. This is hard stuff! I have a new respect for people trying to lose weight. I have to say that it gives me motivation to exercise more with my next pregnancy and from now until then. I do notice a slight decrease in my milk supply after I workout. Many friends have told me that when they tried to cut calories, their milk dramatically decreased. Am I stuck in just doing the bare minimum until I’m done breastfeeding?
Finding time to workout is hard in addition to my lack of energy. I don’t want to pay a babysitter for an hour or two to go to the gym. He is usually entertained in his exersaucer for a little while and I can get some crunches in. I try to be active with him so that I am burning calories without trying too hard. We go for walks when weather permits. But again, is this just an excuse that I am finding to make myself feel better? The recent news item where a mom of 3 young children posted her photo of her ripped body and captioned it “What’s Your Excuse?” got me thinking. Is it normal to be feeling this way at 3 months post partum, or am I making myself feel better?
We have a planned trip to Mexico in May. Ben will be 10 months old. I am bound and determined to be back in a bikini by then. At this point, since I am exclusively pumping, I plan to do so until about 7 months, at which point I hope to have such a stockpile of milk that it will last him until 1 year. (Already had to buy the deep freeze last month!). Maybe after that I will be able to shed some serious pounds.
Better go do some sit ups!
